This morning, I woke up to the refreshing writing of the editor of The Coast Daily in my inbox, on a recent news story about more parents who are upset about a classroom presentation on gender identity.

Let’s have age-appropriate discussions. Are you up for a chat? It might just spark some lively debate about ‘TMI’ (too much info).

Picture this: I’m plucking my menopausal chin hairs (oh yes, it’s a real-life comedy show), gearing up for work, meanwhile, The Coast DAILY e-blast I read this morning, penned by the ever-witty editor Julie, is pounding my brain with its cheeky Monday morning news flash. And I thought… I’ve got an opinion or two brewing on this! And thanks Julie for sharing yours.

My Thoughts about Addressing Gender Identity in Schools

As Julie wrote in the Coast e-blast, These parents pulled their kids out of class faster than you can say “banana hammock.” Thanks Julie, for that fine image set on my brain – it’ll get me through the Beat Beethoven race this Wednesday!

But what set them off was more than seeing the presenters social media channel and a PRIDE image of people celebrating. Or was it?

Let’s address the elephant in the room – or should I say, the rainbow elephant? This seems to be more of a debate about CONTROL and fear.

I’ve tried to turn my kids gay. It Didn’t work.

Some parents think that talking about gender diversity is going to somehow “turn” their kids gay or trans. As if gender identity is some sort of contagious disease you can catch from a PowerPoint presentation. Here’s a little personal story that might just knock your socks off. It might also make you reconsider your stance on “age-appropriate” discussions.

I have multiple children. Only one is trans. I’ve had more queer kids visit my household every week. This happened more often than buying loaves of bread and pints of milk for a highschool football team. In our household, we didn’t have the luxury of waiting until our kids were in high school to start talking about gender diversity. We couldn’t even wait for middle school. But here’s the kicker – my older two cisgender tween and teens?

Somehow, miraculously, they managed to resist the siren call of gender diversity discussions and remained cisgender. It’s almost as if… wait for it… talking about something doesn’t change who you fundamentally are!

AND..They turned out to be better allies and overall good humans because of it. Who would’ve thought that education leads to understanding? It’s a concept.

What age is too young to bully?

By the time my kids hit Grade 5 – yes, that tender age when some parents think their little angels are too pure to hear about pronouns – there were already kids out there armed with enough misinformation to be attacking diverse kids because of it.

But guess what? Our kids weren’t too young to have the information to stand up to it.

They became the defenders, the allies, the voices of reason in a playground full of inherited prejudices. All because we had these conversations early and often. We didn’t wait for some arbitrary age when it was deemed “appropriate” to acknowledge that diversity exists.

And for those clutching their pearls thinking, “But what about the children?!”

I say: “Yes, Exactly.” What about the children who are questioning their identity?

What about the kids who have two moms or two dads?

What about the child who doesn’t fit neatly into the blue or pink box society tries to shove them into?

Don’t they deserve allies? Don’t they deserve to feel safe and understood?

Oops! Middle School Drama and the Art of Damage Control

By Grade 9, it’s not just about education anymore – it’s about damage control. It’s about undoing years of misinformation, prejudice, and fear that some kids have been marinading in since they were old enough to parrot their parents’ biases.

To the parents who think their Grade 9 kids are too young for these discussions, I have some news. I hate to break it to you. You’re about four years too late to the party. And your kids? They’re probably already having these conversations without you – only now, they’re doing it without the benefit of factual information and guided discussion.

To the parents who took their kids out of class: Congratulations. You’ve shown your children it’s okay to avoid what makes them uncomfortable. That not knowing is better than understanding. That it’s easier to be afraid of differences than to accept them.

A Positive Challenge for Parents:

But here’s a thought: What if, instead of shielding your kids, you educated yourself? What if, instead of panic, you chose compassion? What if, instead of fear, you chose love? Growth isn’t comfortable. Learning isn’t always easy. But it’s necessary. So lean in.

Let me tell you something important. As the parent of a trans child, love and acceptance aren’t just nice-to-haves. They’re life-savers. Literally.

So, here’s my challenge to all the parents out there. This includes even the ones clutching their permission slips and their outdated notions of gender. Be brave. Have the conversations. Start early. In the end, you are not protecting your kids from the world. You are preparing them to make it better.

Knowledge is power, understanding is strength, and love is love—regardless of the grade you’re in.

Cyn Sweeney