This morning, I woke up to a refreshing article by The Coast Daily’s editor. The article discussed a recent news story about more parents who are upset about a classroom presentation on gender identity.
Let’s start with something I hear often:
“I just want to understand what my child is being taught.”
Sometimes it’s said with curiosity.
Sometimes with concern.
And sometimes—with fear.
If that’s where you are, you’re not alone.
Why This Feels So Charged
Conversations about gender in schools have become increasingly visible—and increasingly polarizing.
For many parents, it can feel like:
- Things are changing quickly
- Language is unfamiliar
- And there isn’t always a clear place to ask questions without judgment
That uncertainty can turn into frustration.
Or silence.
Or resistance.
But underneath it, most parents are asking a very human question:
👉 “How do I support my child while also making sense of this myself?”
What Schools Are Trying to Do
At their best, schools aim to create environments where all students feel:
- Safe
- Respected
- Included
That includes students who are:
- Exploring their gender identity
- Questioning where they fit
- Or simply wanting to be seen as they are
This isn’t about replacing family values.
It’s about ensuring that every student can show up without fear of harm or exclusion.
Where Tension Can Arise
Tension often shows up when:
- Parents feel left out of the conversation
- Information feels incomplete or unclear
- Or there’s a perception that something is being introduced too quickly
And when communication breaks down, people fill in the gaps—with assumptions.
That’s where misinformation can take hold.
Video Commentary:
Before we go further, I want to share a more direct take on this conversation…
The conversation in this video is direct and differs from how I typically approach these discussions in my coaching work. But I’m sharing it because these are real conversations happening right now, and sometimes naming things clearly helps us move forward.
As you watch, I invite you to stay curious—even if you don’t agree with everything.
For context: A group of Grade 9 students in a Halifax-area school are about to get a presentation on gender identity. When their parents say, ‘you’re too young.’ (Article linked below, Oct. 2024).
The parents pull the students from school on the day of the presentation. Discomfort averted. Or is it? Is it OK to run away from something that makes you uncomfortable?
In this video, I share my thoughts on this topic. I discuss how what children often learn in these moments is that discomfort should be avoided—rather than explored.
A Perspective I Come Back To Often
As a parent, I understand the instinct to want to protect your child.
To want clarity.
To want time.
To want to feel included in decisions that affect your family.
And at the same time:
Schools are working to support a diverse group of students—each with different needs, experiences, and identities.
Both of these things can be true.
What This Conversation Is Really About
At its core, this isn’t about winning an argument.
It’s about:
- Safety
- Belonging
- And how we support young people as they grow into who they are
Because for some students, these conversations are not theoretical.
They are deeply personal.
Moving From Reaction to Understanding
When we feel uncertain, it’s easy to move into:
- Defensiveness
- Fear
- Or drawing a hard line
But there is another option:
👉 Curiosity
That can look like:
- Asking questions instead of making assumptions
- Seeking credible information
- Being open to learning—even when it feels uncomfortable
You don’t have to agree with everything to engage with it.
But staying open creates space for better conversations.
What Support Can Look Like
Whether you’re a parent, educator, or leader, support doesn’t require perfection.
It can look like:
- Saying, “I’m still learning, but I want to understand”
- Creating space for respectful dialogue
- Recognizing that different experiences exist within the same community
- Focusing on the well-being of young people—not just the debate
A Personal Note
This is not abstract for me.
As a parent, I’ve navigated what it means to support a child while also learning in real time.
I know what it feels like to:
- Have questions
- Feel unsure
- And want to get it right
And I also know the impact that support—or lack of it—can have.
That’s what shapes the work I do today.
Final Thought
These conversations can feel charged—and at times, exhausting.
And they also matter deeply, especially for the young people who are most impacted by how we show up.
If you’re finding yourself somewhere in the middle—wanting to understand, but not always sure how—you’re not alone.
Conversations about gender in schools are not going away.
But how we engage with them—that’s something we can choose.
We can choose:
- Distance or dialogue
- Assumption or understanding
- Fear or curiosity
And often, the most powerful place to start is simply this:
“Help me understand.”
If you’re looking for a clearer understanding of what gender-affirming care actually means, I’ve written a guide to help break that down. I’ve also created a free downloadable guide for primary caregivers new to navigating a loved one’s gender journey.
If You’re Navigating This Right Now
If you’re navigating this as a parent and feeling unsure, you’re not alone. These are complex conversations—and they deserve space, not judgment. This is the work I do—supporting parents and leaders in building confidence, clarity, and connection through conversations like these.
You don’t have to figure it out alone.
